The 12 Traditions of Al-Anon and the Dangers of Denial in Leadership

In a time of political and social turmoil, a troubling pattern has emerged: the insistence that acknowledging reality is “negative” while blind optimism is praised as “solution-focused.” But true solutions do not come from ignoring problems. They come from confronting them with honesty and accountability.

Denial is not a spiritual principle. Jesus understood this when He entered the Temple and saw corruption masquerading as righteousness. The money changers had turned a sacred space into a marketplace, exploiting people in the name of faith. In one of the most dramatic moments of His ministry, Jesus overturned the tables and drove them out, declaring, “My house shall be called a house of prayer, but you have made it a den of thieves.” (Matthew 21:13)

He didn’t ignore the wrongdoing. He didn’t try to “focus on the positive” while injustice flourished. He acted. He named the corruption for what it was and took steps to restore integrity to the Temple.

Yet today, when people call out destructive policies, abuses of power, and the erosion of democracy, they are often told they are being negative. They are urged to “focus on solutions” rather than name the reality of what is happening. But denial is not a virtue. It is not spiritual. It is not wisdom. It is a tool of oppression.

Naming harm is not negativity. It is truth. And truth is what allows real solutions to emerge.

When we recognize and call out destructive policies—whether they threaten our democracy, our economic stability, our global standing, or our infrastructure—we are not being negative. We are practicing awareness. To dismiss these concerns or to shame those raising them is not an act of hope—it is an act of co-dependence.

As someone who has experienced an abusive, alcoholic marriage, I have seen firsthand the cost of denial. Focusing only on the good did not create safety. Hoping things would improve without action did not change my reality. The same applies to leadership and governance.

Accountability is not negativity—it is the foundation of responsible action.

This is where the wisdom of Al-Anon, a support program for those affected by someone else's addiction, becomes deeply relevant—not just in personal healing, but in understanding the dysfunction we are witnessing in leadership today.

The Contagion of Addiction and the Need for Control

Al-Anon does not exist to "fix" the alcoholic. Instead, it is a space where those affected by addiction can heal from the mental, emotional, and spiritual toll it takes. Because addiction is not just a personal disease—it is a contagious one. It spreads through families, relationships, and systems, manifesting as fear, control, denial, and the desperate need to be right.

Addiction—whether to substances, power, or ideology—creates a deep feeling of being unsafe. Those affected often cling to control as a survival mechanism. They argue, blame, justify, and rationalize, because admitting the truth feels too dangerous.

This is how dysfunction takes root—not just in families, but in governments. Leaders who operate from fear instead of principle manipulate reality, silence dissent, and demand unwavering loyalty. Their supporters, often driven by the same subconscious fear, defend them at all costs, even when their actions are harmful.

Al-Anon teaches that healing comes when we let go of the illusion of control and find a God of our own understanding—something larger than ourselves that allows us to feel safe without grasping for power. When we trust in this deeper wisdom, we can be vulnerable, fully ourselves, without fear of judgment or abandonment.

A healthy society—like a healthy family—requires leadership that operates from this place of integrity and security, not fear and control. But right now, many of the principles that foster such leadership are being ignored.

Why the 12 Traditions Exist

The 12 Traditions of Al-Anon were created to help groups function in mature, healthy, and integrity-filled ways, ensuring that the majority can thrive rather than being controlled by the loudest, most fearful, or most dominant voices.

When dealing with the chaos of addiction, individuals and groups often struggle with power struggles, manipulation, and emotional upheaval. The Traditions serve as guiding principles that prioritize the collective good, encourage shared responsibility, and prevent the rise of destructive leadership within groups.

These principles are not just relevant in personal recovery—they are foundational to good governance in any system, including government itself. When leaders abandon these principles, dysfunction, division, and fear-driven decision-making take over, harming the very people they are meant to serve.

Now, let’s look at the 12 Traditions of Al-Anon through the lens of leadership and governance.

The 12 Traditions of Al-Anon in Leadership and Governance

1. Our common welfare should come first; personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity.

   • Healthy leadership prioritizes the well-being of all citizens, not just personal gain or special interests. A government that fosters division or prioritizes power over the people’s welfare violates this principle.

2. For our group purpose, there is but one authority—a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.

   • Leaders are meant to serve, not rule with unchecked power. A government that disregards democratic principles, silences dissent, or undermines the collective will of the people betrays this tradition.

3. The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend.

   • In governance, this suggests inclusivity—leadership should represent and serve all people, regardless of their background, beliefs, or struggles. Policies that exclude or vilify certain groups erode the democratic foundation.

4. Each group should be autonomous, except in matters affecting another group or Al-Anon or AA as a whole.

   • This speaks to the importance of checks and balances. When a leader consolidates power and disregards the voices of other branches of government, international allies, or local authorities, autonomy is lost and governance becomes authoritarian.

5. Each Al-Anon group has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics.

   • Government should have one purpose: to serve the people. If policies instead focus on enriching the powerful, dismantling essential services, or sowing chaos, leadership has lost its way.

6. Our family groups ought never endorse, finance, or lend our name to any outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary spiritual aim.

   • When political leadership is driven by corporate interests, donor agendas, or personal financial gain, it undermines the fundamental role of governance—to serve the people rather than amass power and wealth.

7. Every group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.

   • Democracy is compromised when leadership becomes dependent on dark money, foreign influence, or corporate interests instead of the will of the people. True self-sufficiency means serving without being bought.

8. Al-Anon Twelfth Step work should remain forever non-professional, but our service centers may employ special workers.

   • Public service should be about service—not personal enrichment. Politicians who treat office as a means to personal profit, rather than a duty to the people, violate the spirit of ethical leadership.

9. Our groups, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.

   • This tradition highlights the necessity of government accountability. Leadership structures must remain responsive to the people, not structured in ways that remove them from public accountability.

10. Al-Anon has no opinion on outside issues; hence our name ought never be drawn into public controversy.

    • Leadership should focus on governance, not personal agendas or petty political battles that distract from real issues. When leaders manipulate cultural or moral debates for power, they fail in their duty.

11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, films, and TV.

    • Effective leadership leads by example, not propaganda. Governments that rely on misinformation, censorship, or media manipulation to maintain control are not serving the people but deceiving them.

12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles above personalities.

    • When leadership becomes a cult of personality rather than a system of service based on principles, democracy is at risk. A strong government is built on ethical values, not individual power or hero worship.

      
      

Final Thought

The 12 Traditions of Al-Anon offer a powerful framework for ethical, responsible governance. Right now, many of these principles are being ignored or violated. But we, the people, still have a choice.

We can refuse to be complicit in the dysfunction. We can refuse to enable harmful leadership. And we can demand that principles—not power—guide the future.

Because democracy, like recovery, requires courage. And courage begins with truth.